Post by amba on Nov 13, 2007 21:00:08 GMT 10
Don't know if anyone else has seen this but I found this funny article on the Herald Sun site while aimlessly wandering the net ...
Colin Lane
November 10, 2007 12:00am
BRUSHING your teeth is important. Everybody does it. Most of us do it religiously twice a day.
Sometimes, sure, we've had a couple more than the recommended drinks a day and we might forget to do it before we go to bed.
Or in the case of a friend of a friend of a friend who pretty much just smoked and drank all he could then after 10 or so years of neglect went to the dentist and was told he had a condition commonly known as "gutter mouth".
Perhaps its best to not go into any more detail with that little narrative.
I'll let your imagination draw its own conclusions on that one.
Talking about teeth or their care or horror stories concerned with their care is a tad discomforting, off-putting, even downright vulgar for some people, even though they are looked on as an integral part of one's look, one's personality, even one's sexual appeal.
People often say the first thing they noticed about someone they just met was their beautiful teeth or smile.
But talk about drilling into them or a dentist scraping them or picking bits of stuff out of them or foil on your fillings or a story about getting a tooth knocked out on the asphalt and people's fascination quickly turns to revulsion. Similar but not entirely relevant, to people's love hate relationship with human hair.
Look at her beautiful hair, long bouncy shining in the sunlight but put a strand of that very same hair in their spaghetti carbonara and they don't think that's beautiful, bouncy and shinny. It's a bit more like "I think I'm going to be violently ill".
A bit like nails down a blackboard, or sucking on a lemon or in the case of my wife, running your hand along dry wood, especially the type found near oval car parks to prevent people driving onto the grass. You know, the treated pine stuff.
Teeth are such an integral part of how we live.
We need them to chew sustenance. We need them to give people we've never met some idea of how we've treated ourselves or whether our parents could afford braces in this social landscape or give them some indication of how many people we have seen that day or rather how good our friends are when a small morsel of food or dirt gets stuck in there and no one TELLS YOU!
Why didn't I floss? Why didn't I take the time to run that bizarre piece of cotton type stuff through my teeth like the dentist tells me I should do more often.
Why didn't I grab a weird piece of fine cord about 10-15cm long and jam it up between my sensitive precious pearly whites and rub it back and forth til my gums bleed!?
I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why!
Because its icchhkky.
Because it's uncomfortable.
Because it hurts.
Because it makes my teeth feel extremely tender. It makes my whole body shudder.
Because it goes against my every human instinct to resist putting anything remotely close to my mouth that could even approach uneasiness.
Because it because it because it makes my bottom go in OK?!
And I categorically state that anything that makes me do something like that, I cannot, I will not, I shall not be able to justify such an action.
I guess it's perhaps similar to our political landscape at this juncture.
If you want our governments to appear attractive or memorable or even, I know this is hard, or even appear sexy to overseas populations should we not floss those candidates occasionally to make them bleed a little?
It keeps the teeth clean. It's what the experts advise and it will, most controversially, keep us from experiencing a feeling we would rather avoid.
Such as making our bottom go.
I think we need to floss occasionally.
COLIN LANE is a comedian and actor
Link to site : www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22731762-5006880,00.html (you have to copy and paste the whole address to get it to work)
Colin Lane
November 10, 2007 12:00am
BRUSHING your teeth is important. Everybody does it. Most of us do it religiously twice a day.
Sometimes, sure, we've had a couple more than the recommended drinks a day and we might forget to do it before we go to bed.
Or in the case of a friend of a friend of a friend who pretty much just smoked and drank all he could then after 10 or so years of neglect went to the dentist and was told he had a condition commonly known as "gutter mouth".
Perhaps its best to not go into any more detail with that little narrative.
I'll let your imagination draw its own conclusions on that one.
Talking about teeth or their care or horror stories concerned with their care is a tad discomforting, off-putting, even downright vulgar for some people, even though they are looked on as an integral part of one's look, one's personality, even one's sexual appeal.
People often say the first thing they noticed about someone they just met was their beautiful teeth or smile.
But talk about drilling into them or a dentist scraping them or picking bits of stuff out of them or foil on your fillings or a story about getting a tooth knocked out on the asphalt and people's fascination quickly turns to revulsion. Similar but not entirely relevant, to people's love hate relationship with human hair.
Look at her beautiful hair, long bouncy shining in the sunlight but put a strand of that very same hair in their spaghetti carbonara and they don't think that's beautiful, bouncy and shinny. It's a bit more like "I think I'm going to be violently ill".
A bit like nails down a blackboard, or sucking on a lemon or in the case of my wife, running your hand along dry wood, especially the type found near oval car parks to prevent people driving onto the grass. You know, the treated pine stuff.
Teeth are such an integral part of how we live.
We need them to chew sustenance. We need them to give people we've never met some idea of how we've treated ourselves or whether our parents could afford braces in this social landscape or give them some indication of how many people we have seen that day or rather how good our friends are when a small morsel of food or dirt gets stuck in there and no one TELLS YOU!
Why didn't I floss? Why didn't I take the time to run that bizarre piece of cotton type stuff through my teeth like the dentist tells me I should do more often.
Why didn't I grab a weird piece of fine cord about 10-15cm long and jam it up between my sensitive precious pearly whites and rub it back and forth til my gums bleed!?
I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why!
Because its icchhkky.
Because it's uncomfortable.
Because it hurts.
Because it makes my teeth feel extremely tender. It makes my whole body shudder.
Because it goes against my every human instinct to resist putting anything remotely close to my mouth that could even approach uneasiness.
Because it because it because it makes my bottom go in OK?!
And I categorically state that anything that makes me do something like that, I cannot, I will not, I shall not be able to justify such an action.
I guess it's perhaps similar to our political landscape at this juncture.
If you want our governments to appear attractive or memorable or even, I know this is hard, or even appear sexy to overseas populations should we not floss those candidates occasionally to make them bleed a little?
It keeps the teeth clean. It's what the experts advise and it will, most controversially, keep us from experiencing a feeling we would rather avoid.
Such as making our bottom go.
I think we need to floss occasionally.
COLIN LANE is a comedian and actor
Link to site : www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22731762-5006880,00.html (you have to copy and paste the whole address to get it to work)
