Here's a whole lot of stuff, sorry there's so much...Before Col and Frank became TV stars (which is really only a small portion of their career) they entertained people by running around on stage doing silly things and hurting each other just to get a "cack". They still do this on occasion but filming is their main priority now. They have performed on various TV shows and have also toured Australia with 2 shows - the first being "Fence" which went for two seasons around 1994 and "Curtains" which they performed during November and December of 1997. Click to read the review/description of these 2 live shows:
Fence | Curtains
Fence (By Gary)
Unfortunately I never got the chance to see Lano & Woodley perform Fence, but since then I have had the opportunity of flicking through the original script. It is largely based on "The Girlfriend" episode with a few extra themes and short skits inbetween such as the Green Banana Effect (and corresponding song) a short skit about horse riding + a few others. The Backdrop of the stage was a fence which is probably how they got the name for the show...
The show was a combination of singing, slapstick and plenty of improvisation and showing off! Hopefully one day Col and Frank will perform Fence again!
Curtains (By Mj)
Last night, the 29th of November, 1997, my friend Belinda and I, went to see Lano and Woodley LIVE in Curtains! It was fantastic!! The whole show was some crazy stunts, showing off, improvising, a little from one of their tv episodes (loosely based on One Simple Task), singing and just clowning around. Basically it was 90 minutes of fun! It was one of the funniest experiences i've had in ages. The audience was laughing the whole night, it was great.
One of the best things though was that Belinda and I (and a few other people) actually got to meet Col and Frank (before the show started). It was superfluous! I got their autograph and also got 2 photos with them!
I have to say this is a show you would want to see, even if you don't know who Lano and Woodley are. Thanx for making the night so great Col and Frank! oh yeah, the moth thing was pretty kewl! (The moth thing was where a moth flew down from a stage light and Frank pretended to be afraid of it!)
--written 30th November 1997--
Lano and Woodley have been all over the place leaving their mark on the world. Their television appearances (in no particular order) inlude:
* Hey Hey it's Saturday as regular guests and also hosting (and destroying half the set!!) the show once in October 1996
* The Midday Show
* The Today Show
* The Panel (1999)
* Blankety Blanks
* Recovery
* Good News Week
* The Melbourne International Comedy Festival
* Hessie's Shed (1998)
* Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala (?-1997,1999)
* Denton (1994, 1995)
* Good Morning Australia (promoting "Curtains")
* Sale of The Century (just Frank, in the Gift Shop)
* Today Tonight (interview with Col)
* Review (snippets from both their stage shows)
* Gonged But Not Forgotten (1998)
* The Absolutely Fabulous Hour (1998)
* The Big Gig (as Found Objects)
* The Comedy Sale (as Found Objects) only 3 episodes aired.
They have also been on the following radio stations:
* Fox FM
* Triple M
* Triple J
* Triple R (what is it with all these triple letters??)
* ABC Radio National
* Gold FM
Frank and Col have also won a couple of awards:
* 1993: Brian McCarthy Memorial Moosehead Award
* 1994: Perrier Pick of the Fringe Award (unofficial Comedy Oscar) - Edinburgh Fringe Festival
Preview
The fine art of infantile idiocy has few peers in Australia like Lano and Woodley, and never are their gifts in stronger evidence than when raised in song. From '80s classic The Bus Driver's Cracked A Narney to later, even more sophisticated pieces, their complete musical progress is charted in this live musical retrospective.
Colin Lane and Frank Wood crashed the Melbourne cack scene as two thirds of physical comedy troupe the Found Objects in the late '80s. As Lano and Woodley they've been ubiquitous, hosting Hey Hey It's Saturday, presenting their own ABC TV series and a dozen absurdist two-handers from here to Edinburgh, where they won the coveted Perrier Award in '93.
From Shed Full of Shit to Tattslotto, the pair's ropy guitar-vocal tunes are embellished here by inventive multi-instrumentalist Mal Webb of the Oxo Cubans and Justin Brady from Things of Stone and Wood. Laugh loudly and you might make the live CD.
The Adventures Of Lano And Woodley
Australia , ABC (Working Title Television For Polygram Films), Sitcom, colour, 1997
Starring: Colin Lane, Frank Woodley
Comedy duo Lano and Woodley have enjoyed great success in their native Australia with sophisticated stage slapstick, and this extended to Britain when they won the coveted Perrier Award at the 1994 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. This TV show aimed to capitalise on that achievement, being made primarily for Australia by a British company with financing from the global (but European based) PolyGram. Former BBC director Bob Spiers (with credits throughout this book) was invited to take care of the opening episodes.
This was a likeable, fast-paced show containing many moments of first-class clowning from two athletic comedians. Cast as two life-long friends, they found themselves in bizarre predicaments, mostly caused by the hapless, gaucherie of Frank Woodley, a physically inept and mentally incompetent walking disaster-area. The relationship was similar to that of Abbott and Costello, with Lano (aka Colin Lane) as the more together straightman (ie, Abbott) and Woodley as the fool (Costello). Whereas Costello was short and tubby, Woodley was tall and stick thin, but he was nonetheless hilariously adept at comedic facial expressions and body language.
The BBC imported the show for British consumption but seemed uncertain of its audience. The first series of six episodes ran in the Friday back-from-the-pub slot, the second (six more, lacking one episode) went out Sunday lunchtimes, at the conclusion of a raft of children's shows.
Researched and written by Mark Lewisohn.
Cast
Colin Lane - Colin
Frank Woodley - Frank
Crew
Colin Lane - Creator / Writer
Frank Woodley - Creator / Writer
Mandy Smith - Director (4 in series 1)
Bob Spiers - Director (2 in series 1)
Jon Olb - Director (series 2)
Geoff Portmann - Executive Producer
Simon Wright - Executive Producer
Marc Gracie - Producer
Colin Lane - Producer
Frank Woodley - Producer
Transmission Details
Number of episodes: 13 Length: 30 mins
Australian dates: Sep 1997-June 1999
UK dates: 10 Sep 1999-27 Aug 2000 (12 episodes) BBC2 Fri around 12 midnight, then Sun around 12 noon
Live Shows
Bruiser
Curtains
Fence
Glitzy
Slick
The Island
TV Shows
The Adventures of
Lano & Woodley Series 1
The Adventures of
Lano & Woodley Series 2
Book
Housemeeting
Bruiser
Premiered 2001
Two professional thespians are meant to join Lano & Woodley for their latest show, but when the actors get deep-vein-thrombosis and their knees fall off it looks like the performance will be cancelled. In this epic tale of love and boxing Col falls for the gorgeous gym receptionist, Juliette, and provokes the wrath of her psycho boyfriend, Bruiser. When Frank accidentally offends Bruiser, the thug challenges him to a boxing match. Col agrees on Frank’s behalf and trains him for the big day.
PRESS REVIEW
“Colin Lane and Frank Woodley, the fast-paced, rubber-bodied absurdist comic duo from Melbourne, fill a floor space the size of an elongated basketball court with skill, wit and endless energy. The pair appear as female receptionists, pumped-up beefcakes, and winningly, each other. There are beautiful moments of mimed bicycle riding, agile shadow boxing, silly walks, and explosive lessons in how to peel an orange. While Bruiser is not a stand up show, it could be. Within its basic storyline – Frank and Col decide to stand up to a bully for reasons of love and pluck – it is their inspired adlib ravings that win the night. Sometimes it’s not clear if it’s rehearsed mayhem or sterling moments of improvisation but the pair are so well-oiled they can afford to wander off.”
- Lenny Ann Low,
Sydney Morning Herald
Curtains
Premiered 1995
A squabble within the first few minutes is solved when Col and Frank draw a curtain dividing the stage into two, with the intention of performing two completely separate shows. When this proves unworkable the two friends decide to take a holiday together to patch up their relationship, but then Frank realises he’s forgotten to book the caravan. (This plot was adapted for the TV episode “One Simple Task”.) As the story unfolds, a series of curtains is drawn back revealing more and more of the stage. Whether clambering on top of wardrobes, wrestling with rogue spaghetti or dropping from the lighting grid into a tarpaulin held by audience members, the physical mayhem comes thick and fast.
Directed by Neill Gladwin
PRESS REVIEW
“Reserve a space for the names Lano and Woodley alongside the likes of Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Martin and Lewis.
The duo’s new show, Curtains, confirms their status as one of this country’s most popular and successful acts, keeping the audience in fits of happy laughter from go to whoa. The formula is now finely honed: slapstick props (this time a curtain and a wardrobe), devilishly daggy songs, Frank Woodley’s gangly physical comedy and Colin Lane’s egocentric bullying, a bit of danger and a grab-bag of naughty childhood memories. Their original approach is built on a solid foundation of classic vaudeville skills and immaculate timing, along with a knack for turning all manner of adversity - from miscued lighting to the stifling heat inside the Freemason Hall’s Apron Theatre – to their advantage with some brilliant ad-libbing.
IIII 1/2”
- Patrick McDonald,
AdelaideAdvertiser
Fence
Premiered 1993
A rustic wooden fence is used for all sorts of entrances and exits in Lano & Woodley’s debut. Col creates an imaginary girlfriend to impress Frank but things get complicated when she swaps her affections. (This plot was adapted for the TV episode “The Girlfriend”.) The crazy story pushes them from one anarchic routine to the next. A simmering feud over breakfast results in extraordinary visual gags with milk and cornflakes. While watching cartoons on telly they descend into a battle that matches the cartoon soundtrack with precision.
Directed by Neill Gladwin
*This show won the Perrier award at the 1994 Edinburgh Fringe festival
PRESS REVIEW
“Lano and Woodley …These two are the reincarnations of Buster Keaton - with lobotomies and a tight grip on your funny bone. They're goofy guys, arms down to their ankles and a naive demeanour, which hides a very slick and professional show. Visual gags and clever optical illusions provide most of the laughs but if necessary they can ad lib with a quick-silver fluency. Between them, Lano and Woodley have resurrected slapstick and turned it into an art form. It's an old line but it could be true - if you see just one show this year, make it this one. The opening scene is worth the ticket money alone.”
- Jonathan Trew,
The List – Edinburgh
Glitzy
"It's Bold. It's Brassy. It's bucketloads of Cackfonic Cacks."
It's Lano & Woodley in their show Glitzy. Colin Lane and Frank Woodley, the "two high priests of daggy physical comedy" (The Age), are back with their sassiest show ever - a vertiable treasure-trove of sparkly show-stoppers and hallucinogenic high-jinks.
It's got albino tigers...it's got chariot races...it's got helicopters...it's got Reese Witherspoon...well, not really any of those things, I mean, c'mon, albino tigers? Really? That's just crazy talk...but it is going to be an hilarious show of stuff that has a high percentage chance of being funny...put it this way...um...what can we say...it's going to be quite good actuallu..........SO COME.........GO ON!!!!!!!
"The most gifted physical comedians I've ever seen" - Montreal Gazette
"masters of surrealist comedy, this chaotic, exhilarating feast of physical theatre is inspired and inspirational stuff" - The Edinburgh List
"Clever, bouncy and a lot of fun" -Inpress
PRESS REVIEW
“Lano and Woodley are back and better than ever in Glitzy, a show with extra vaganza! Fans of the duo will not be disappointed. Lano and Woodley have an unlimited capacity for stupidity, and their slapstick and rubber-faced antics are as funny as ever. Also this year they show off their musical talents.
Even better than Bruiser, this show will have you laughing ’til your guts hurt. Lano and Woodley are probably the two best physical comedians in the world, and as good homegrown talent they shouldn’t be missed. A highlight was Woodley’s death-defying stunt at the end.”
- Michael McCormack,
Lot’s Wife
Lano & Woodley Are Slick
Rightly regarded by many as the kings of Australian Comedy, Lano & Woodley have performed to thousands all over the world, written a book, hosted Hey, Hey it's Saturday, won the Perrier Award and they've had their own television show.
What's next?
"Lano & Woodley are Slick; well, Colin Lane tries to be slick, and Frank Woodley is his bumbling cohort, which creates a wonderfully funny and lovable duo...their timing is brilliant, their gags are great and their songs are inane yet marvellously funny...Many people may have seen Lano & Woodley on the TV at some point, but do yourself a favour and experience them in the flesh...it's much more fun." (Beat, April 2000)
SLICK is rich with silliness, songs and physical freakouts. Col and Frank career through their material with a reckless enthusiasm that ensures every show is unique. In FENCES their quest was to have a pash; in CURTAINS the quest was a holiday; with SLICK the boys completely lose the plot. Col and Frank abandon any attempt at narrative and dance, sing, conjure and squabble as only Lano & Woodley can. They are joined on stage by the unique musical talent of Mal Webb (ex Oxo Cubans, Sock).
"In their new show this impressive duo prove why they are such a hit...these two will have you laughing for days and not be able to really explain why." (Farrago, April 2000)
"masters of slapstick; daggy behaviour is their stock in trade...bravado...peculiar physical antics..." (Herald Sun, April 2000)
The Island
Premiered 2004
The Island is Lano & Woodley's most ambitious and hilarious show ever! Col and Frank have survived a plane crash en route to a tropical hideaway.
An exciting adventure of high romance on a deserted island is turned into a total fiasco! No food. No shelter. No shortage of hilarious ways to aggravate each other. All they've got to survive on is... their wits. We'll miss them when they're gone!
The Island saw sell-out seasons at Adelaide Comedy Festival and Melbourne International Comedy Festival in 2004.
Be warned, there's violence, sexual references and swearing but the kids in the audience on opening night loved it, as did the grown-ups.
Director: Bruce Gladwin
Colin and Frank are marooned on a desert island. All alone ... or are they? In the duos most ambitious project ever, an amazing whirling, pivoting contraption sits centre-stage transforming from an apartment block, to an aeroplane, to a palm tree and more. A massive computer-operated Judge improvises throughout Colin’s trial for murdering Frank. Visually beautiful, “The Island” is first-class physical comedy.
PRESS REVIEW
“You never quite know what could happen when Australia’s premier comedy duo Frank Woodley and Colin Lane hit the stage, but you can generally rely on sophisticated slapstick, wacky sight gags and zany one-liners. And, of course, an absurd surrealist plotline. This one opens with Col facing a court, charged with killing and eating the hapless Frank when they are stranded on a desert island.
Then the tale is told in flashback. Of course, It’s all very silly, but hilarious all the same. These guys could read names from the phone book and have an audience in stitches. Frank Woodley and Colin Lane are so finely tuned to each other that you can’t tell improvisation from the script. They skilfully play the audience and each other with their ad-lib ravings until the storyline – such as it is – flies out the window. But the Lano and Woodley audience don’t seem to mind about the detours because this surrealism is all great fun.
Lano and Woodley are very effective physical comics. Woodley, who has a quick wit and a special gift with facial expressions and body language, is surely one of the funniest blokes on the planet. Lano, likeable, fast-paced and goofy is the perfect foil. The only prop in this 80-minute mayhem is a motorised, revolving platform converting to a stairway, an aeroplane, a palm tree on a deserted island, and a courtroom.
Comedy doesn’t come much better than this. Seriously..
IIIII
- Bryan Patterson,
The Herald Sun
In 1996 Lano and Woodley wrote their own book. It is written in script format and tells the story of Frank being kicked out of the flat by Col. It's written completely by Col and Frank, has a foreword by Andrew Denton, and cartoons drawn by Frank.
INFO: Published by Penguin Books
Published/released: 1996
© Copyright Colin Lane and Frank Woodley 1996
Housemeeting extract - Computers
Colin: Frank, I want you to know that even though I'm kicking you out, I still consider you to be my friend.
Frank: So we'll still be able to muck around together?
Colin: I'd prefer that you didn't come over to visit, but if you want to give me a call, I'd be quite prepared to talk to you on the phone for a minute or two.hi
Frank: Thanks Col. What's our phone number again?
Colin: We've been living here for nine years and you can't remember our phone number?
Frank: We'll I've never had to call it. I'm not in the habit of calling myself. Now, if you wanted the number for Dial-A-Tarot-Reading, I could give it to you.
Colin: All right. Our number is 5 ... 3 ... 2 ..
Frank: Hold on. I'll just get out my little computer diary so I can remember it.
Colin: Frank. There's a pencil and paper just there on the table.
Frank: Oh, right. Yeah... I'll just wack it in the computer. It won't take a second.
Colin: Frank... ... It'd be much quicker with the pencil.
Frank: Mmm ... maybe ... but ...
Colin: Frank, what's wrong?
Frank: Okay, okay. I've never used a pencil before. I'm sure they're very simple, that's what everyone says, and I know that even kids use them in school ... but ... I don't understand them ... How do you hold them? I ... um ...
Colin: It's all right, Frank. You're not the only person to be intimidated by pencils, but believe me, they're very simple. This rubber bit on the end, that's your 'delete' button. You choose the format by just writing it however you want, and then when you're finished you simply exit your current program by putting down your pencil and walking away.
Frank: It can't be that simple. How do you save it? Isn't there a risk that you'll lose everything?
Colin: That's one of those classic pencil myths. It doesn't happen. You just put it in your wallet.
Unfortunately, this book is no longer being printed. If you have the book, you are very lucky! Guard it with your life! If you don't have it, try to find it in your local library...
The Adventures of Lano & Woodley Series 1
Intro
If you didn't already know, Lano & Woodley have made their own 6 part TV series. It's called "The Adventures of Lano & Woodley" and was screened on ABC (Australia) in September 1997.
The series is often repeated on The Comedy Channel.
The series was Produced by Working Title/Polygram UK and directed by Bob Spiers (who also directed Four Weddings and a Funeral, Absolutely Fabulous) for "Starquest" and "The Girlfriend" and Mandy Smith for the other 4 episodes.
The 6 Episodes
The Girlfriend
When Frank admits to Col that he is a virgin, Col sees this as a chance to show up Frank, so he invents himself an imaginary girlfriend called "Jennifer". But what starts off a trick becomes a bit more serious when Frank starts feeling left out and decides to move out.
One Simple Task
Frank and Col decide to go on a holiday, and whilst Col takes care of the main organisation, Frank has one simple task which he forgets to do, resulting in him making up a number of very original and outrageous excuses not to go on the holiday.
StarQuest
Col and Frank decide they're good enough to appear on a local talent show, `Starquest'. After working long and hard on a musical/dance routine, they feel they are far better than any of the other contestants and deserve to be treated as celebrities. On the big night, things don't go exactly as planned.
The Wall
Col and Frank find out that either their nextdoor neighbour Mitchell, or themselves will be evicted if their apartments doesn't make inspection by the landlord. With the knowledge they are up against a perfectionist, their attempts to improve their apartment result in irreversible damage and a major cover-up attempt by the pair.
Tonight You Die
On Friday The 13th Col finds out that Frank is very superstitious. To help end his fears Col takes Frank to the local video shop to hire a "scary" video. Already spooked by the movie, they receive an anonymous death threat via a phone call, then numerous events threaten Frank and Col's wellbeing.
The Set-Up
When Frank and Col decide to go looking for love in a local pub, they find themselves coming home with two extra people.... Two Girls. But the next morning when the girls have left they find a policeman knocking on their door and accusing them of robbery. Lano & Woodley then become fugitives looking for who really commited the robbery.
The Adventures of Lano & Woodley series 2
Intro
March 1999 saw the premiere screening of "The Adventures of Lano & Woodley" series 2 on the Canadian Comedy Network in Canada. The series was later shown in Australia on ABC starting on Saturday 15th May 1999.
It was made up of 7 high-energy episodes with extremely complex, interwoven plots and sub-plots and the usual large doses of slapstick and plain sillyness that we've come to expect from the duo. In these episodes we see a decapitated Easter bunny, a recreation of the easter story, waterskiing penguins, but these are only a tiny glimpse of what the duo have managed to fit into half hour episodes. It is absolutely non-stop laughs from beginning to end.
The 7 Episodes
Primal Warrior
Colin scolds Frank for "not being a man", and suggests that he, Colin, could get hit by a bus, and then what would Frank do on his own? Frank panics at this, which is what prompts Colin to set up a "find your inner warrior" retreat for Frank, in their apartment -complete with campfire!
The Pool
Frank is afraid of the water, because he can't swim. So Colin takes him to the big outdoor swimming pool for a Beginners' swim class. Then Frank drowns, and has to be rescued by a pretty female lifeguard, who gives him "the kiss of life". He gets the wrong idea and sets out to impress the lifeguard, not realising her husband is a former olympic swimmer, now only known from the "Penguin Muffler" ads he appears in.
The Easter Story
Frank goes around the flat, collecting old stuff to donate to the church's op-shop icluding Colin's favourite pair of socks. When Colin discovers their neighbour wearing them and assumes she has stolen them, it begins a tit-for-tat battle which ends up in the middle of the church's Easter "Rock Mass", with Col and Frank wearing thier neighbours dresses!
Game Show God
Col and Frank argue over which of them is the more intelligent, so they decide to settle the argument once and for all, by playing along with their favourite game show, "Mindbender". Col cheats which leads Frank to nominate him to appear on the show. Meanwhile Frank tries to deal with his fear of people with beards.
I Love You Baby (2 Part Episode)
Col and Frank working as photographers, manage to get the babies mixed up. This prompts them to attempt to reunite the mother with the right baby. In the process they learn some domestic skills, end up with 2 babies at their flat and the police on their tail.
I have some pictures from there too... actually I'm not sure all that ^ was from lanoandwoodley.com but hey! you can never have too much info.